mind out of body

I'm drifting away
my body slumped
a dark black shape
a darkened black aubergine sky
with bluewhite shades
and tinwhite stars
a moon fades away down one side
and the unending darkness stretches through me
and far off into the distance.
I'm collapsed on to the pillows in my mind
and I'm moving away
I'm sliding away
something here is not quite there
my mind has gone, somewhere
I'm looking down
I'm lying there
I'm quiet and unmoving
I don't quite seem so full of life
Because which is me? My body or my mind?
With pieces missing I shift away
slowly, I'm falling down a spiral staircase
headfirst
and it hurts
how this lost feeling perpetuates.
My hands are dead and behind me tied
my face is numb
and legs have died
and I'm no longer there
in my shell, I'm lost and almost gone
I'm distanced now, the colours separating
These wounds aren't healing but there's no one left to feel the pain
It's so lonely to go insane

I scream

a voice comes to my lips
mental and physical rejoining now
like a tear in reverse
I'm joined to my face distorted in pain
I'm joined to my hands, struggling again
I'm rejoined to my legs that kick out in protest
I'm myself for a second, I'm free and I'm fighting
Until the next wave of weakness overwhelms me
and I slump back to the floor where I lay before,
caged and sedate


15.4.2
LEF