Obsessive

OBSESSIVE
can't close my eyes to all that worry
unless I lock myself away
I've spent all my life building
this mental cage

I'm safe in here
to die alone
in complete relaxation
away from depression
away from anything beautiful
that might hurt me
away from anyone I want
that I might disappoint

I've been filtered out of my life
an entirely blue rainbow
sometimes I miss myself
sometimes I cry about it
but mainly I just sit staring in to nothingness
until the feeling goes away

Removed from myself
I've forgotten how to care
Stopped dealing with the truth
after too long living in lies
And now everything just blends in to the walls
and nothing ever seems to change
I need never move again

need never open my eyes

My world slumps stagnant around me

time's just ticking 'round in circles

year after year just sliding by.

Something within me

still longing to fight

an angry voice is screaming at myself

but I'm trying to smother the sound

hands over my ears

silence is the greatest crime

my own worst enemy

the day I choose to hear the truth

I will be free

again

13-1-3